When is Denying just Denying or is it Teasing too?

Like many in a wife led marriage, I enjoy being teased and denied. It's particularly important in my marriage because we don't have alot of intercourse so it (T&D) is what we do. And like others, some times it crosses over into just denial. Denial, without teasing is to me like being ignored. Not good in any marraige.

Over the past few days I have been prompting my wife to at least let me get aroused. I don't expect to orgasm since we are going away, without kids this weekend. But life with children has prevented us from a little play time. Ok, no problem.

As we were enjoying the warm rays of the sun yesterday, I asked her if we could get together to tease, arouse and deny me. She said no.

No? What the fuck? No sex, no teasing, no nothing for over a week. I was royally pissed off.

Then she said that I would have to wait until the weekend. No teasing, no denying, no nothing until then.

Wholly crap, I was turned on. By deciding, quite forcefully, that I wouldn't get teased and denied before the weekend, I got teased and denied. Her control and power at that moment still has my head spinning.

I am more confused than ever. But very, very happy with this turn of events. Her denying of teasing and denying was in fact teasing and denying. LOL

Sexy Celery

My wife made me go food shopping on Saturday. I hate food shopping. The only thing that made it palatable was her playful mood. She just points or stands in front what she wants to buy and then I have to figure it out. A few shakes and nods later and it's in the cart. It's not very subtle. The only reason people don't notice is that there are different people in each isle.

Well, some notice in the veggie section. She was doing alot of pointing and nodding and I was running back and forth to get plastic bags for the peppers, cucumber, etc. She then gabbed some very wet celery and shook it at me. Water splayed all over me and as I reached for it she said, "Take it." As in just stand there and take the spray. So I did. People everywhere and she just shook the celery in my face making me quite wet......and aroused. It was all very playful, nothing aggressive or nasty.

Sure hope she needs help next week.

Matriarchal Marriages

Yes.

I am a proud, strong, man, father, brother and husband.

Yes, my wife is the head of our house.

We have been married for 19 years. Together for 24. Over 1/2 my life.

We are happy. We are not perfect.

She is the boss.

I am not oppressed. She doesn't whip me. She doesn't wear leather boots.

I am her only lover.

She is my heart and soul.

Perhaps, just perhaps, your marriage and life would be better if you too were in a matriarchal marriage?????

Riding a High

Things have been going very well lately despite that she has been overworked and stressed. She had me bring myself to the very, very edge and then stop. A first for us!

After having sex saturday night she told me to sleep on the floor. I was so very tired, my shoulder hurt and I was a bit drunk, I said no and got into bed. She told me that if I slept in the bed, I would be denied until our anniversary in 2 weeks. Promises, promises...LOL

And there are the very important little things outside the bedroom that keep it going. Such as her just placing some cd's and her ipod next to me. A clear indication that she wanted them loaded and synced. One of our kids asking if I could drive them someplace and a quick glance from her and a very subtle nod. And finally this morning while she drove to work we were talking about household stuff and she told me to throw out 2 frying pans because she had bought 2 for Father's Day. My only regret is that I didn't get to open them infront of our friends who will be here for a barbeque LOL.

It will be interesting to see if she makes me wait 2 weeks until my next orgasm. I think that would be the longest time period. Regardless, I am enjoying this period of more intense "wife-ledness".

Is it "new" or "Newly Acknowledged?"

Lady Julia's blog is fantastic. http://ladyjulia.net/myblog/relationships/1642-femdom-or-female-led-relationships-imagine/#comment-1510

Her recent post about imagining yourself as a vanilla wife approached by your husband who asks you to enter into a wife led marriage and with kinky stuff to boot is wonderful food for thought. And as usual, I agree with her.

But I often wonder how many marriages are alread wife-led? On Friday we were heading to a semiformal event and my wife was bringing one of those totally useless but fancy minipurses. And prior to leaving she found the following note:

"Dearest,"
I'm glad you decided to make we wait and keep me aroused and frustrated for the next week. I'm glad that I am your beck-and-call-boy."

It was dated in 2003. And later this month we are celebrating our three year anniversary of being in a wife led marriage. Our beginning is when it was formally acknowledged the day I gave her the wonderful book, "Around Her Finger."

What I am getting is that I was definately in a wife led marriage for at least 3 years prior to our defining it.

I think that if more men helped their wives to acknowledge what has usually been happening for some time anyway, it might smooth the road so to speak.

Sexless Isn't Loveless

It seems to me that the blogs that last are the ones, almost exclusively, written by men, struggling to make their marriage work. After comments I read by LadyJulia on AtAllTimes's blog, I wanted to address the sexless (or nearly sexless) marriage as compared to the loveless marriage.

While I complain, I am fortunate and must remember that my wife loves me. And it appears so does the wives of AAT, Worshiping Your Wife, Allforher, Hardwired Submissive Man, etc. etc.

I am a lucky guy and I don't think I could look my kids in the eye and say that I'm divorcing their mom, blowing up their lives, because she doesn't screw me enough.

Well, that and I truly love her! :)

Effort. It's About the Effort

Background:

Due to a low libido, my wife struggles with thinking sexually and as a result doesn't do alot of teasing and denying.

Each morning I serve her coffee on bended knee and say something nice. It's our own little fun morning ritual. No big deal. On Monday I was serving her coffee as she was turning on the overhead lights and she wondered if others could see. She also thought I might be doing something more than just serving her coffee (stroking for her.)

Later that morning I sent her the following email:
This morning you were turning some lights on and were concerned about who could see what and I joked that I wasn't naked and stroking.

2 things:
Well actually one since we both don't care too much about who sees me serving you coffee. Unless they stopped and stared on multiple mornings they wouldn't "know" anyting.

And the other is that if you want me to "think about you:)" (readers, that means to masturbate) all you have to do is tell me to. Any time, any place and for any length of time. While I do prefer if you are home, you don't have to be all the time. It doesn't need to result in a release (orgasm). Heck, thinking of you, could be used as both a reward and punishment, or even just for fun.

And I thought I'd email this to you (you are putting on your makeup right now) so you don't have that awkward....."Should I (meaning you) be doing something now?" type of thing.

She replied: "Got it"

This morning was the usual coffee service. And as usual, while she puts on her makeup behind a partially closed door (mirror issues:) I asked her if she needed anything. There was a long hesitation and then she said,

"Think of me but don't come."

So there I knealt, outside her bathroom, stroking and getting quite aroused. She asked me if I was hard, duh, and then told me to stop and go get her headphones in the basement. I happily walked downstairs, aroused. I gave her the headphones and she glanced at my still pudgy state but said nothing. The end.

That's what I needed. I need her to show some consistent effort of working on our sexuality. I am hoping this starts a new chapter and she begins to realize how little it takes to make me happy. Time will tell.