Postings: Panties, Libido, What's Good?
It's interesting to me how I think I am going to post about one thing then something else pops up that replaces my thoughts.
My wife had a $10 off coupon for anything at Victoria's Secret. She found some panties to match her bras. Now, I love shopping in VS and carrying around her choices. But saturday was special. At one point she just said, "Which ones do you think would look best on you?" Or something to that affect. There was a shock and the world started spinning. I replied, "Of course I'll wear whatever you want." And there is no doubt in my mind that the woman right behind us heard our conversation. I damn near orgasmed in my pants.
But this isn't about Panties.
On the blog, Hersforever, there is a great post about tease and deny versus ignore and deny. And how a woman, who isn't naturally dominant, might, because of her love for you, tease and deny you but it won't be part of her daily thoughts. But because it is part of the man's thoughts, he sees the lack of teasing as "ignoring and denying." I wonder if this has to do with her libido. If she was horny, either the guy would get teased and denied often or they's have more sex (perhaps not necesssarily wife led type of sex) but he'd get laid and not care if it was wife led or not. (I'll conceded that there are certain guys who are truly submissive but I believe most use it as way to fill a void in their sex life.) So I ask: How much does her libido play a role in "inablity" to be an active partner in a wife led marriage?
But this isn't about libido.
"What's good? I need some positive feedback." Oh shit. I had just tried to explain, apparently not well, that my previous nights comments about lack of kissing was in no way a compliant about our "less normal" sexual activities. (Last night I was allowed to hump her stocking covered leg. I find if very arousing to be naked, her dressed and me asking then humping her leg.)
But my poor communication led her to hear "not enough kissing" and she was upset. Sex doesn't come easy to her, wife led or otherwise.
Let us all not forget that kind words and positive feedback are important in all our relationships.