Monday, April 04, 2011

Postings: Panties, Libido, What's Good?

It's interesting to me how I think I am going to post about one thing then something else pops up that replaces my thoughts.

For example:

My wife had a $10 off coupon for anything at Victoria's Secret. She found some panties to match her bras. Now, I love shopping in VS and carrying around her choices. But saturday was special. At one point she just said, "Which ones do you think would look best on you?" Or something to that affect. There was a shock and the world started spinning. I replied, "Of course I'll wear whatever you want." And there is no doubt in my mind that the woman right behind us heard our conversation. I damn near orgasmed in my pants.

But this isn't about Panties.

On the blog, Hersforever, there is a great post about tease and deny versus ignore and deny. And how a woman, who isn't naturally dominant, might, because of her love for you, tease and deny you but it won't be part of her daily thoughts. But because it is part of the man's thoughts, he sees the lack of teasing as "ignoring and denying." I wonder if this has to do with her libido. If she was horny, either the guy would get teased and denied often or they's have more sex (perhaps not necesssarily wife led type of sex) but he'd get laid and not care if it was wife led or not. (I'll conceded that there are certain guys who are truly submissive but I believe most use it as way to fill a void in their sex life.) So I ask: How much does her libido play a role in "inablity" to be an active partner in a wife led marriage?

But this isn't about libido.

"What's good? I need some positive feedback." Oh shit. I had just tried to explain, apparently not well, that my previous nights comments about lack of kissing was in no way a compliant about our "less normal" sexual activities. (Last night I was allowed to hump her stocking covered leg. I find if very arousing to be naked, her dressed and me asking then humping her leg.)

But my poor communication led her to hear "not enough kissing" and she was upset. Sex doesn't come easy to her, wife led or otherwise.

Let us all not forget that kind words and positive feedback are important in all our relationships.

What's Good?

43 Comments:

At 2:02 AM, Blogger At all Times said...

WSS - wow nice comment in VS's, it's easy after the event, but you could have said, "why don't you choose a pair and we will see, if you like". I assuming that she didn't buy you a pair.

I think that a wife's low libido has a lot to do with how they react and interact in a developing WLM. If only it were the other way round, then we would all be happy.


I don't see what's wrong about saying that you would like to kiss more because when you do you feel it brings you much closer and you enjoy feeling that. Maybe your wife doesn't like to kiss because kissing normally leads to you getting aroused and wanting sex. Not saying that this is wrong but I could imagine Jane feeling like this in the past. Any sign of encouragment, any form of arousal on her part is going to encourage you to want sexual relations.

Ironically, if only wives got the fact that in a WLM, most men are happy to relinquish control of their orgasm's and let their wives dictate how and when they need to have sex, it would be better for everyone. In fact by doing so, a wife would be fulfilling her husbands desire to feel dominated and controlled, and not even necessarily have to get involved with overtly sexual acts if she didn't want to.

 
At 4:27 PM, Blogger Susan's Pet said...

You are rambling, but have hit a number of interesting points. “… I believe most use it as way to fill a void in their sex life…” is right on. We are desperately trying to get some attention of the sexual nature where the attention is sparse or non-existent. There are many possible reasons for a woman not behaving to satisfy our needs, so when you say, “How much does her libido play a role in ‘inablity’ to be an active partner in a wife led marriage?” it may or may not be just her libido. People have problems that become more important than sex or the response to sex. People change with age and exeperience. People get bored with some games and rituals. Many newbies will advise, “Communicate with her!” Yes, that works sort of. But after many tries further communication on the same subject is just another annoyance to her. If her basic problems are not addressed, none of this will make a difference, and there you will be with your hands full of your cock and resentments.

 
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At 1:19 AM, Blogger Weave said...

Great post. Love the VS story, so my thing!

But the low-libido Wife thing is very helpful. Have that here.. And I guess nice to just know sometimes I'm not alone. :) with so many FLR options out there, wish I could get one that works, lol! :D

 
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At 7:14 AM, Blogger Cerys! said...

hmm, i'de get her in the mood then you wouldn't get a 'telling off' when you get in the mood. Which equals in both of you being sexually happy. tadaaa!

 
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