A Big Change
Sadly, not for the best.
A wife led style of marriage is not sustainable for us. We've tried. But her low/non-existant libido's impact is just too great. She has repeatedly told me she doesn't need/want sex and as she gets older, she doesn't expect her sex drive to get any better.
On a positive note, I'm not mad. I can't control her reaction, only mine. It's who she is and to expect her to change is unrealistic. This struggle has been going on for 15 years. It was my hope that the teasing/arousing/denial aspect of a wife led marriage would help her and us to have some fun non pressured sexuality in our marriage without full blown intercourse.
I am concerned about sexaul interaction going forward. While the wife led didn't work, while we were attempting it, it provided a structure...a foundation....to base our sexual interaction. That's gone now and it's very awkward. But I'm confident we will figure it out.
I'm sure that there will be wife led fun in the bedroom on the rare occassions that she has enough wine. When this happens, I'll tell you all about it.
Until then, I'd like to thank the many commenters over the past few years. At All Times has been particularly supportive and his, and all the comments, does not go unnoticed or unappreciated.
All the best.
posted by whatevershesays @ 6:31 AM
10 comments
10 Comments:
best wishes. Take care. Stay in touch.
-SH
Sorry to hear that. Good luck on the future.
I like that you are being so positive about it, but sorry to hear that you two are going through all this. :( Your blog is so interesting, I hope you'll continue even though things are changing.
So sad that I'm this late to the party. I think I love this blog.
As someone who has lived in both worlds I beg the two of you, don't accept a sex less life. Try harder to find the key to "her" sexuality. She may not even know her self but in most cases patience and dutiful serching by both people will produce results. Good lock in your search and may both of you have a bountiful erotic life.
I am sad that you have come to this point in your life. It is good of you being somewhat positive about it. It is best under the circumstances. I have said a few times, “Love gets in the way.” I am not talking lust. Love is something that under the right circumstances is shared, and helps one to endure all adversities. If it is unrequited, it can be destructive. But I don’t think that is so in your case.
I don’t have my life’s fantasy to live with my wife, but I love her and will do all to serve her as long as she needs me. That is part of my satisfaction: she does need me, and I provide her needs. Whether FLR or not, this is real. Good times come and go. Sex is much part of that. On the long term, love is what drives the relationship. But it must be love in both directions.
I wish you well, and please, keep in touch.
Good luck to you and i hope for the best for you and your wife.
It is nice to hear you are keeping your head up. It is hard to be in such a relationship but if you two have accepted this and all avenues have been pursued, then enjoy.
try some herbs for her low sex drive. Not only will her sex drive go through the roof but sex drive and staying Young go hand to hand. research and give it a month or two. think of it as a health regime rather than a sex drive booster. trust me you will be thankful later
WSS - I am a little lost for words, which is not like me lol.
I think that I have said before that I can never quite understand why women, even one's with such a low sex drive, can not adopt many of the things that a WLM can offer. At least allow their husband's the chance to derive some sexual enjoyment and pleasure from serving her. You can think of so many more unaccpetable things that a man might enjoy, and ask his wife to indulge him in.
That said, at least you have maintained a positive attitude and remain loyal and devoted to your wife. Keep in touch, and let us know how your are from time to time. Maybe now you that you have accpeted that yours won't be a WLM, it may come to you much easier, but in different ways.
I wouldn't be surprised if your story is not over quite yet. Like you, I appreciate comments, and yours have always been supportive and most welcome, and for that I thank you very much.
Good Luck in whatever you do, and in responding to "whatever she says".
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