Did He Say "Ours" and she said, "Mine?"
I try not impose our marriage style on others. It's not that I really care that someone would know that we are in a wife led marriage. I just don't want them to feel uncomfortable. And I find that when my wife is around with others present I try to dial it down a bit.
Today we had quite a few people over for dinner. Pizza for my son's basketball team.
Two things happened that were pretty interesting. The first was when one of my kids wanted to take a shower but the kids' bathroom was occupied. A fairly close friend was over and she asked if we only had one bathroom. And at the exact same time, my wife and I replied, "We don't let the kids shower in...and I said "Ours" and she said "Mine." I said our's because I thought it might be awkward if I said "((Insert my wife's name))" Can you imagine a husband saying his wife's bathroom? Well, there was an awkward moment of silence and then said laughingly, "Well, her's." Our friend then went on a tangent about how each of their kids shower, etc. I just thought it interesting that my wife would say "mine" in front of our friend.
The second was even better and special because I'm not sure that my wife even noticed. Her friend and recently hired employee stopped by after everyone else had left. I poured some coffee and gave her a slice of cake for desert. Very innocent, very relaxed and honestly, probably something any guy would do. I then proceeded to clean the kitchen, load and unload the dishwasher, offer my wife a 2nd cup of coffee, wiped down the counters and kitchen table and then took the dishes from her friend. All the while they just chatted away at the table as I worked (and was part of the coversation too.) It's hard to explain that this was a super casual situation and it would have been quite natural for my wife to pitch in and help while talking to her friend. But she didn't. She just sat there with her as I worked quite hard and quickly. It almost seemed like they were at a restaurant and I was the bus boy:) (Her friend is 20 years younger and cute as hell so that would be fun:)
In no way did my wife acknowledge anyting wife led. No little glance or look. I'll ask her about it tomorrow. I'm curious if she noticed anything. I wonder what she would have thought if she was either friend and the same thing happened at someone else's house?
posted by whatevershesays @ 10:23 PM
16 comments
16 Comments:
How very good that you both feel so at ease with your relationship. Just keep being comfortable being yourselves, and you'll naturally spread your ideas, your way of life. Kudos!
WSS - great post WSS. I think its fair to say that the longer you move down this road, no matter how suscessful or other wise you become in achieving your goals, its very difficult for your wife not to assume some more dominant characteristics, or to take on a more selfish or relaxed approach to you doing things for her, even in front of other people.
I know that this is true for Jane who in the past has encouraged me to display similar subservient traits in front of her friends, letting me do things for them, whilst she sits back and quite naturally lets me.
In the same way that your wife called your shower "mine", Jane does the same for a number of different things now. Seems that eventually you can get used to and even take on a more dominant role the longer you are exposed to the submission of your partner.
Whenever my wife has some friends stop over after a tennis match or just socially, I am always the one who serves them. As you mentioned, it feels very natural and just the way it should be. A few of her newer friends will comment how well trained she has me and statements like that, while the friends she has had longer don't seem surprised any more, they also accept that I am there to wait on them. They will tell me to refill their wine or iced tea and will wait for me to clear the table if they had lunch. My wife has confided in them and told them of our wonderful lifestyle, to the point that a few of her friends have told her how jealous they are because their husbands are resistant.
Two of them have told my wife that their marriage has now gone to a WLM because of how great they see my wife and I together. And also because they are very impressed with my admiration and great respect for women. So far only two have converted, but the others have the desire, only to be dealing with their foolish stubborn husbands. Their husbands don't like to give up control, especially in the bedroom. My wife has told them about orgasm control and how after three weeks I am even more submissive. She feels that any man should not orgasm more than ten times in a year, less is even better. She allows me an orgasm maybe after six weeks, but I usually wait eight weeks because as she says, " A horny husband is a good husband". "And I can keep you horny as long as I feel like it, so I do". She states that wives should never feel horny, so at least once a week I bring her to several intense orgasms before sleep. Then we hug until we fall asleep.
I just recently had a similar situation. My friend and his wife were over for dinner and I cooked the main meal. When they came to the front door I was doing some dishes. When his wife saw this she smiled and said " I like to see a man doing dishes.". Also, after dinner as everyone sat around chatting I cleared the dishes and did most of the hand washing. My wife would have pitched in in the past. Now she expects me to do the dishes or doesn't seem to appear guilty that she is sitting and chatting as I wash.
She spanks me weekly as for maintenance to remind me she is in charge of things now. It is quite effective and I am happy.
Anonymous, Nice to read your comment. Did your wife's friend then establish a WLM with her husband? It seems when us submissive husbands are shown to our wives friends, they all want the same thing in their marriage. Just many of the husbands are too macho (they believe) to at least try it for a couple of months. But even other husbands see how happy we are with eachother.
My wife used to spank me years ago, 20 to 30 lashes with 3 different whips. Not a sexual spanking, but a real punishment one when I deserved one. Now though she says spanking and whipping is way too much work for her. She says she breaks a sweat when she swings the whip, and she is never going to do anything that causes her to do that again. Hence, I do all of the housework, laundry and most ironing. For punishments, she makes me stand in the corner naked for 2 hours a day for 5 to 10 days. Or she will not allow me to watch anything on TV, including our favorite sport teams for a week or two. Plus she adds weeks onto my wait time, I have gone 3 months already. I used to be locked in a chastity device for 2 years, but last summer she decided no artificial devices anymore. I must stay horny because she tells me to. She has told me that if I ever masturbate, our WLM will go back to a regular marriage and no more domination of me. That is enough to make me wait, and wait and wait!
This is so real life and cool. Thx for sharing.
We had a similar thing with a realtor coming over. I served coffee while my wife discussed business with the gentleman. I participated in the conversation, but only secondarily. Honestly, I don’t think he really paid any mind. Most people would have a hard time detecting anything wife-led from spending time with us, but on occasion, things happen like what you describe.
We had another great moment this past Sunday when we were at the mall. At a kiosk, there was a woman selling microfiber cloths and mops. I asked my wife if I could look at the presentation she was giving to some other potential customers. She walked over with me and after a short while the lady began to address my wife and ask her cleaning questions. I know she was about to say, "ask him", but before she could I told the woman that I was responsible for all of the cleaning and not my wife. The other women commented to my wife, "wow, how did you ever do that" and "you are a very lucky woman, my husband does nothing".
I asked all of the cleaning questions and purchased some of the cloths, a mop and its accessories. The woman and I had a short discussion on some cleaning products while the other women listened. My wife stayed there looking bored . When we left three of them smiled at my wife and gave her a thumbs up. My wife told me how proud she felt. Actually, I did too.
Not really sure what the big deal is, it's kind of a norm for LOT OF COUPLES for the wife to take over the master bath (hence why they tend to be very feminine, soaking tub, spa like, etc.) and the husbands to take over the no frills guest bath/shower, kinda like a locker room from high school. Sounds like an arrangement reflecting a solid common sense marriage to me. What makes this FL? Stop drinking the kool aid boys.
Our wives are very fond of the room they call their bathroom. We are fortunate to each have our own bathroom, next to eachothers off the bedroom. I do all of the house cleaning and my wife is very demanding on how I clean everything from floors to dusting. But the most difficult room to clean is a woman's bathroom. My wife inspects that room more carefully than a operating room in a hospital. She wants it perfect and everything back exactly as it was before. Believe me, it is never good enough. She will make me do it all over completely a second time (toilet, floor, tub, etc., it takes about 1 hour) just for finding a small smudge on one of the mirrors. Or any reason she sees fit. I have cleaned it 3 times in a day once, plus had 3 hours of corner time that evening for not doing a good enough job. I'm sure other husbands have experienced the same thing about their wife's bath.
Doubting Sean: To some degree you are right. However, in my household, the only other bathroom is upstairs for the kids. So we share "hers". It is actually one larger space with standing tub, sink and walk in closet. I don't have any clothes in there. Our bedroom has a smaller closet off to one side that I use.
If it's all right with you, I'll continue to drink the coolade. I like it.
NP, drink up. BTW, why not call it the Mistress's Bathroom? Nobody thinks twice when the term Master bedroom/bathroom is referenced, why would the fem term raise any eyebrows, I mean, it applies more so in your household then others. So why not call it that?
As for All Hers, how precious, I'm sure if your wife told you to shower outside with the garden hose in the middle of winter, you would. And then share every last detail here online.
Doubting:
If you want to comment, fine. But if you are going to put people down why do you bother?
Very funny about Master bathroom.
Doubting Sean, Wht so cynical, and why ever bother to visit this site? Obviously you are not into a FLM. Too bad for you. You seem to have the interest otherwise you wouldn't be reading our comments and leaving your own. We are all very happy and content husbands, proud to serve our wives and remain horny for them.. And yes, if she wanted me to use the hose outdoors in the winter, of course I would. She makes the rules, our life is wonderful and we are closer than we have ever been since we established that years ago.
I am sure she noticed, at least on a sub conscious level and actually the more subtle the message the more it will eventually take hold and sink in
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