Interesting Comments
I had someone respond lately and the dialogue is something that I read all to frequently on blogs from guys in wife led marriage. In a nutshell, it's about how much and how far a guy should submit just for the joy of submitting and the apparent pleasure of his wife. The reason I say apparent is that without some type of recognition almost all gusy will give up. It's my contention that even in a wife led marriage the wife has "responsibilities." Like I"ve posted before, there is a huge difference between teasing and denying and denying from ignoring or lack of interest.
Here is what the poster wrote:
Dear Mrs. Whatevershesays,
You are way too generous with the amount of pleasure you allow your husband. Two major wrongs here. First, a man should never be allowed to touch his penis, only washing and bathroom time. I make my hubby sit and pee, good for him and eliminates time in his hands. A husband must learn that all of his pleasure is a result of his wife granting it to him. She decides if she will rub it, lick it or let him enter her. And most of the time it should never end with him having an orgasm. She gives him all of the pleasure, he should NEVER be allowed to pleasure himself, especially to the point of letting him cum. Also, two days in a row??? Any wife into a great WLR will tell you that a man should never cum more than 10 times a year. My husband waits a minimum of 2 months before he may have an orgasm, more time is added if he has displeased me. We have been married for 31 years and have been into WLR for about the last 6 years. Easy to do once the last child has married and left the nest. Now we are free to take it to a higher level. He does all of the housework several times a week wearing only panties. He liked mine so much 31 years ago that I have been buying panties for him to wear ever since. Now he wears them full time. His idea but he does look good in them, especially when I'm reading or watching tv and he's doing the floor tiles on his knees, that is nice!! Anyway, my husband will probably cum about 8 times this year, he is so great when he is so horny I really hate it to end. I will let him penetrate me every 2 weeks or so if he has pleased me, but only for 6 to 8 stokes, then out and we go to sleep. So restrict your husband longer than he thinks he can last, he can and will, he'll have no choice. If you feel he will cheat, use a chastity device. We used the CB3000 and then the 6000 for many years. Then I wanted him to show me devotion, and swear to me he wouldn't masturbate. He did promise and hasn't ever done it. He is on the honor system. Any wife can tell when her man has just cum, so I told him if he ever did it, 6 months to a year I would lock his penis back up. No cumming! Make sure only you provide the stimulation and the pleasure, he has to learn that you control that part of his life, as well as the rest of it.
From me
Boy do I have trouble believing this.
Next posting from Anon:
Anonymous said...
Dear Whatevershesays,
If you want a really great WLR then your wife should be much more dominant with you and stop letting you cum just because you want to. And a husband should always realize that his pleasure comes from his wife. It sounds like your wife is trying to appease you and since you state she is not into sex very much, she is allowing you to cum so that you will leave her alone. Tell her that you will wait longer and then show her how great you can be. My husband did that 6 years ago, now there is no going back. Thanks for your great site, I hope you can convince your wife to allow you to show her a great WLR. You certainly have the desire.
From me:
Anon:
I agree. She is probably is trying to appease me due to her low sex drive. However, it's not that I want to cum. Frankly, I wish she'd make me wait. But there is a huge difference bewteen making a husband wait with eve just a little teasing and denying, and ignoring him because she forgot (due to her low sex drive).Wouldn't you agree that even in a WLM, the wife has some even minimal responsibilities (acknowledgement?) to some how participate? I've gone months without so much as even a hint of sexuality/acknowledgement. Even in a wife led marriage there are limits.
posted by whatevershesays @ 5:00 PM
15 comments
15 Comments:
Dear whatevershesays,
I agree fully with you. I'm not convinced that the first comment is not just fantasy material. However, even if it is 100% true, and works well for the lady (you don't usually see ladies write like that), it doesn't mean it works well for your and anybody else.
Your point about some sort acknowledgement from your wife is valid in my opinion. Although there may be husbands happy with no acknowledgement I haven't come across believable examples.
A relationship is a two way thing. If I don't get any acknowledgement I get less joy from my submission. Yes you can argue that it isn't pure submission if you "require" something from your wife, but hey, that's just how I've noticed things work with me. Maybe I'll change and be happy without her acknowledging her dominance but I seriously doubt it.
Wife led marriage is a very very beneficial set up for the wife. (I sometimes fantasise to myself that I'm my wife and can order me about at whim, or look down to see me worshipping my feet) In my opinion if something is very important to the husband, his wife should at least make an effort to learn a little more about it. Her relationship with her husband determines more than most other things in life her state of mind and happiness. If her husband has a deep underlying frustration it would probably affect the relationship. If the husband is getting his (minimal) minimal needs met he is likely to be happier and therefore in a better mood which rubs off on his wife. I don't personally subscribe to the notion that that the husband wants means nothing.
I'd struggle to go more than a week without any playful acknowledgement from my wife about her being the dominant partner.
That's just my feeling on it and I'm sure others may see it differently.
every sub-hub does have limits. I agree. I am truly content when my wife is pleased with me. Often her acknowledgement comes via non-verbal queues, such as a pleased smile, or a blissful sigh. When I get those, my day is a success. Last night after I finished my chores, I was allowed to give her a foot massage in front of the fire. She watched her TV shows and I massaged her feet for two hours.
Dear Whatevershesays, The comment by dzh444 had me wondering why he felt our lifestyle might be fantasy material. As I re-read my letter I think I found the reason. There is a large age difference between you, your wife and I. Thinking back to our early years raising children , both of us working to pay a large mortgage, and dealing with everyday details, there would have been little time to have a WLM like we have now. Back then I came home from work, tried to prepare dinner, cleaned up around the house, and then our nights began with homework or a school activity. If my husband had suggested a WLM then , I know I may have thought it sounded great, but no time to actually do it. Your wife is having the same problem, alot of things to do in life, especially with children. Like a juggling act. It wasn't until after our last child married and left the nest that we began to grow closer once again. Not that we had a bad marriage, far from it, but our lives were so busy and different then. We began to be best friends again because life got calmer and we spent so much more time together. It was soon after a trip we took that my husband suggested a WLM, for me to be more dominant saying to me that he was always submissive but couldn't really show it. I knew he was. For many years early on he would ask me to have a "slave day", with him being my slave. Maybe 3 times a year we would arrange days off together when the children had school. After they left , we had 6 hours. He told me everything he wanted me to do, right down to what I should wear, and I did all of it for him. We did the same every time. He bought me garter belts, stocking, high heel shoes and more, including two whips. I would make him do all of the housework (great for me), and would stand over him with my whip urging him to do a better job. It was his total fantasy and I felt I just wanted him to be happy because he was a good husband and father. On occasions I would feel very dominant and get into it a little more than I thought would. It actually scared me a little because I didn't think of myself as a dominant type, only when acting out his fantasy But now I see that those times made it easier for me to accept and do a WLM. Since I was going through menopause, sexually I was getting less and less interested. Sex at times was a little painful because of dryness, even with KY. My ob-gyn stated it was natural, but I still wanted to please him, When my husband then suggested orgasm denial for him, and explained how he would remain horny for me as long as I wanted I thought this was too good to be true. When you have lemons, make lemonade the saying goes. He wanted me to tease him nightly , as I do, by stroking him lightly. I have gotten so good at that, I almost bring him to the edge and then I leave him there. He rubs my feet nightly, massages me when I want more, and gives me the best oral sex once a week or so. His behavior is so great, sometimes I can't believe he is the same man as years ago. And all I have to do is deny him for 2 months, or even a bit longer if he displeased me at all. Like I said I do allow him inside me every 2 weeks or so, I enjoy the closeness although it is still not too comfortable for me. He may not orgasm at these times, he is only allowed up to 8 strokes, my decision, and then it must come out. He is also not allowed to ask or complain about being horny. I've told him that this is what he wanted, and I'm not going back to the old ways again. He is horny, but I tell him he is suppose to be. So have patience, treat your wife as a godess now so you can develop this relationship as the years pass by. When you are older, you will also have a great WLM. My husband and I wish you and your wife good luck, because you want this so very much.
Do you have a sister? Wow, you are some woman! I wish my wife was as open minded as you are. She is into WLM, but still not as dominant as you seem. You have one very lucky husband!!!!
Dear Anon, My wife and I both admire your relationship you and your husband enjoy. Since we have children home, it is difficult having an all out WLR in front of them. We will develop our relationship and build on it, so that when we are alone together in later years we will also be able to take it to a much higher level instead of just beginning one. I would love to serve my wife on a full time basis. We do pretty well now and we will be doing a "slave day" very soon. Thanks for adding your comments, more would be appreciated. As my wife said, "boy these two really have their act together."
Whether or not the cited comments are fantasy is dealing with symptoms while trying to dismiss them.
The basic problem that most bloggers seem to ignore is that when they use "should" and "must" extensively, they are telling people to do it the way these fantasy writers feel.
In real life that does not work. Sure, we can pick up ideas, hints, information, and practice, and we may adapt them into our relationship. That is not the same as following some other person's script because we should.
nice story.
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