I'd Do Anything To.....

Very funny story.

My wife and I are dining outside at a local restaurant. A woman in her 60s is dressed quite flamboyantly, something out of a child's fable. My wife and I became very intrigued and she told me to find out "her story" and where she lived. So I had to use the restroom a few times, trying to muster up the corage to approach this woman, her husband the other couple they were with. I'm sure anyone paying attention thought I had the world's smallest bladder. Even the waitress new of our little game and was egging me on.

Then it happened. My wife said, "3 licks." "I'll allow you to lick me 3 times." Well, game on baby. I can't remember the last time my wife allowed my tongue down there.

Up I go, so to speak. As I approach this woman I can only think of going down on my wife. I've got absolutely no idea what I going to say. And then I'm there. Standing next to the table waiting for a break in the conversation. What the fuck am I going to say? "Hi my wife promised me 3 licks...?" That won't work.

And as she looks up I blurt out, "Sorry to interrupt your dinner but my wife and I were admiring your necklace." (Think Southwest, red-neck beltbuckle on a chain.) "Did you get it around here?"

Well, her and her companions were pretty loaded. She had bought it in Palm Springs, lives here in the summer and Az in the winter. Next thing I know, I'm sitting with them and find out the other woman's uncle used to live in my house. Off in the distance my wife and waitress are both stunned and laughing.

As they left the restaurant, the waitress handed me their doggie bag. I ran them down and wouldn't you know it, this crazy lady gave me a bit of a hug and played a little grab ass!

Talking to a stranger. No problem. I'd drive my car off a cliff to go down on my wife.