Time Out
Life is getting very hectic right now and I told my wife I needed a break. She's buried at work, kids are extremely busy for about a week and then my wife goes on a 5 day business trip. Combine the house/work stress and her very low libido and I'm worried that I'll just get angry and frustrated at her lack of sexual attention. Or we will try and force some sexual play time and that won't work either.
So I told her I"m taking some time off from the Wife-led aspect of our marriage. It's tough for me to seperate out pure service and its sexual aspect. She says she understands but is worried because she sees the wife-led aspect of our marriage as part of the whole. That's encouraging. Of course, it is also frustrating because her low libido prevents her from engaging in the sexual aspect and therefor our sex life is less than ideal.
Anyway, I'll be reading but doubt I'll have anything to post for about 2 weeks. I do believe everything will be fine so you all hang in there. I still remain a true believer in a wife-led marriage.
posted by whatevershesays @ 8:34 AM
5 comments
5 Comments:
When my libido is low and Jack's isn't, sometimes we will compromise by having me watch/participate slightly in his masturbation and find porn for him. It's NOT the same as sex. Obviously. But it helps him continue to feel wanted and like I care about his sexual needs even when I'm not up to doing any kind of sexual play myself.
I've had Kat (my sub) send me favorite erotic stories that I read once my libido returns, discuss his fantasies, etc.
*hugs* I know how hard it is when your partner's libido is low- I spent 6 mos with no sex drive thanks to hormonal BC- but there are always compromises and ways to get your sexual needs met.
Good luck, I know how frustrating this is going to be for you both.
Best of luck. It often seems that taking little breaks produces large leaps forward. I hope that's the case for you.
I agree with AFH, a small break may do you good. At least your wife recognises, in her words, "the wife-led aspect of our marriage as part of the whole", so that is very positive.
I don't think that she is going to let you off the hook now lol
Maybe you can use some of this downtime to get down to Lowes and buy and install a proper bedroom door.
Even the best of FLRs go through this cyclical change. I naturally recognize the smallest change. Even my wife admits without prompting, and feels some guilt. But we both know that I will still do all the work I normally do, and continue to serve her as always. The difference is that she is not as much involved as usual, and of course, our sex is temporarily on hold, including masturbation. When it is over, she is the one who re-starts the new cycle.
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