Finding Balance
A great blog, At All Times (http://sheisincharge.blogspot.com/) recently discussed being more submissive and working harder to please your wife. That we, as lucky husbands in various stages of Wife-led Marriages, should care less about our orgasms and our wives denying us and more about serving them. Eventually they will see the light and accept their dominance over us.
And generally I agree. I am guilty of caring to much about the sexual aspect and not enough about my service. But like it is discussed on AroundHerFinger, service doesn't happen in a vaccuum.
I guess the question is how long can one go with little or no recognition from their wife? My personal fear and it's acknowledged by my wife is if she gets too complacent then I'll get angry and frustrated and give up causing damage to an already fragile sex life.
So, how much should the wife participate?
posted by whatevershesays @ 9:41 PM
6 comments
6 Comments:
WSS - I dont think that is what I was really trying to say. I am not suggesting that I am going to be more submissive, or work harder, if i did then i am sure jane would not be pleased especially if she felt that I was just doing it for just me. What I am trying to do is be consistent in my approach, so I did not slack off or become any less attentive just because she thought I was playing a game. I want to prove to Jane that this is not a game and i genuinely need to submit to her, but that at the same time how much I love and adore not only being wirh her but also submitting to her will as a woamn and wife. I think its working.
I agree you can not go on forever without acknowledgement, but you also have to learn to appreciate what's acknowledgement and to know when you are WL and when you are not.
Must be in the air; I/we are struggling with that as well. The "You can lead the horse to water..." comment seems particularly apropos. She's willing to have me do all sorts of stuff, but she's not going to acknowledge or request (not to mention demand) anything.
Our only interaction around this is the nightly check-in which starts with "What have you done for me today?" but quickly devolves into "How was your day?" And if I missed anything, there's never a "You were supposed to ..." And there's never any consequence.
I don't think I'm slacking in order to troll for a reaction, but honestly, I wouldn't guarantee that. But without some "energy" input from her, in the most abstract sense, I don't know if this will work.
Guess I should post on this too...
Jamie
I just went on a big rant about feeling ignored.
Very frustrating phenomena. The semi dominant woman can so easily lose sight of the fact that a sub male's service is sexually charged. We don't intrinsically like doing dishes or other chores. The women have to remember that the Real Women Don't Do Housework formula has to be consistently followed to keep us guys motivated. And that does not make us bad guys.
I enjoy your blog and look forward to each new installment.
When my wife and I started living the WLM I wanted to do it to please her and show her how much I love her. I never thought that it would progress to the point of having this exposed to friends and family. I always thought it would be a private thing between us. I guess it just shows that you never really know how things are going to progress.
Good luck with your relationship. It sounds wonderful.
Bev, the housewife husband.
S2C, I did not realize that you are so pragmatic about the basic aspect of submission to a loved woman. The fault is mine for not understanding you more already.
People like us go through stages of understanding ourselves with respect to our submission. I have gone through mine fast. I have said already that the basis of a man's submission is sex, and all else that he does is in support of that.
Without an unmistakable sexual feedback from his coveted woman the game will end.
I call it a game, because it is not real unless the woman is forcing it. Even then, she has to do her share.
I hope that I have not burst some bubbles here with my being so blunt. I have not given up on FLR, but I fully realize that most of it is a man's fantasy, wishful thinking, and inappropriate interpretation of his female partner's actions.
In some cases a man can manipulate her or the situation, but as I said, it is just prolonging a fantasy. Reality is when you experience it, rather than interpret it. It may be fun to pretend, but don't be disappointed when it does not really happen.
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