Appropriate Hint or Topping from the Bottom?
As many of you know, my wife struggles with "thinking sexually" due to her low libido. This morning I was going to the mall to return a pair of shoes of hers that don't fit and she handed me a Victoria's Secret free panty card. No big deal really. I told her that I'd enjoy going in there solo and getting a panty for her. That I would most likely be aroused. But alas, she decided the shoes do fit. I told her that because expecting guests, that I probably wouldn't go to the mall just for the panty. She agreed.
A bit later, she texted me and told me to go anway because she said so. Later she said I was to "think of her" our wording for me to arouse myself. I've picked up the panty and yes I was a bit aroused. And more so because I can't wait to tell her.
There is a pretty significant chance that she made me go anyway because of how aroused I told her I would be and how much enjoyment I would get.
So: Was this hinting on my part or topping from the bottom? Are hints OK? Do you hint?
40 Comments:
According to the rules of FLR, you were indeed topping from the bottom, you bad boy!
But then, who the hell is making rules for you other than your partner? Enjoy them, and ignore the others. This looks OK to me.
I find this question difficult to answer - when is a hint a hint and when is it topping from the bottom.
I wish I could avoid hinting, then I'd be safe! But my wife tells me that if I want sex with Her then I must ask politely - so where does that leave me - confused and insecure ) iguess that's where I belong...
If you are one of those couples that can set down, and can have an open conversation about all your dislikes, likes, and desires, exchange ideas, learn about what both of you would want from an FLR, then "hinting" or "topping from the bottom", as some purists would call it, would not be necessary.
If, however, as in most relationships, the desire to submit comes from the man and he struggles with how to communicate about the whole concept of a FLR, let alone some of the more subtle and sexually based desires that he may have, made even more difficult if his partner is originally sceptical and reluctant about this type of relationship, then "hinting" I believe, is a totally acceptable form of communication, and a great way of letting his partner know what he might like to happen. It also works both ways, how many times in the beginning has your wife "suggest" or "hinted" that you should do something, rather than just issue you with a direct order, or just tell you that you need to do something for her.
I think that the key however is not to “hint” too often, or to learn when to stop and just accept a situation. I know that I am a fine one to talk, but even I admit and recognise that sometimes you just have to accept that things will not always turn out the way that you want them to.
What could possibly be wrong with telling your wife that it turns you on to think of her and her intimates? I'm positive that she's happy you do, and you ought simply to be thrilled that she recognized an opportunity to indulge your little kink in a fun way.
Maybe you're like me and have the tendency to analyze things a bit much.
From what I understand from your blog, you have introduced this lifestyle to your wife, and she has no previous knowledge of this lifestyle.
Consequently, you have, at this point, no other choice than to toss out "subtle" hints. I don't find your hint as topping from the bottom.
In fact, I find the term "topping from the bottom" irrelevant when it comes to relationships where the wife has no prior or little information as to what the man needs. How else is she to know?
I know AAT reads this site, and I would apologize for my anon comment regarding crossdressing due we changed internet providers, and it has proved, I'm sure in his words, to be a bit of a "cock up".
You are not a prisoner of war, you are part of a marriage. That marriage may have a slightly unconventional power sharing basis but it is still a relationship and as such communication in one form or another between the two of you must take place.
I am sure that in those moments when you and your wife do openly discuss being in a female led marriage you don't bring up every possible situation that you would find pleasurable.
Because of that I believe it is quite permissible and desirable for you to communicate that you would feel good doing some particular act for her whether that be going and buying panties for her right through to washing and cleaning her car or whatever would bring you pleasure.
It sounds to me like you and your wife are communicating quite healthily.
I agree with all of what Happy... said. But I want to add that there are people who are overly sensitive to some issues. Even bringing up the subject makes them exhibit defensive behaviour, and that just ruins the project.
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