Please Read
I don't nomally post about the deep meanings and reasons for a wife led marriage. Saturday night my wife asked why I blog and I said to let others know that a wife led marriage can and is one way to have a wonderful, "normal" marriage.
But that isn't why I want you to read this post.
This morning my wife was rushing out to work and she...gasp....wiped off her own boots:) They were a bit dusty from a summer on the shelf. A few minutes after she left, she called and asked me if I was offended by her wiping her own boots. She said that had I done it, probably on my knees, I'd get excited but she didn't have time to engage me. She was worried that I'd get frustrated if she walked out the door.
Here's the thing: She said that had I gotten all worked up and frustrated she would have felt like a terrible wife, leaving me there. By not "playing" with me, she would have felt bad.
I always say that I like to be hard and furstrated. She has a very difficult time with the frustration part.
So I told her to forget about it. We discussed looking at it from a different perspective. I told her that I get turned on. Period. That I get turned on when told to do things, when I clean her shoes, do her laundry, etc. etc. I conveyed to her that I feel closer to her through this type of interaction. Hell, it envigorates me to clean the house.
I understand she wants to feel like a good wife. It's one of the things I love about her. I think she now understands that getting her husband excited (with or without an orgasm) is a good thing.
I guess, as hard as I've tried, I never seen the "he's frustrated, I'm not being a good wife" aspect from her point of view.
For the men, talk to your wife and tell her that you get emotional and marital satisfaction from her when she is the "boss". Tell her that, in general, there isn't a connection between your orgasms and her being a good wife.
For the wives, many husbands want and need and truly enjoy a wife led marriage. Many want to be turned on and get turned on doing things for you. Forget the words tease, forget the words denial and frustration. I'm sure that you want to turn on your husband. If you are like my wife, you feel better about being a wife when you turn on your husband. So turn him on. Don't worry about his orgasm.
posted by whatevershesays @ 6:18 AM
3 comments
3 Comments:
You make a very good point and one that us husbands forget sometimes. The fact is that most wives no mater how dominant, or willing to take on the dominant role in a relationship, still associate their husbands frustration or denial, as some sort of failure on their part to please their husband. The sooner your wife understands that frustration and denial are actually what their husbands want, the sooner they can relax and do what comes more naturally, not having to worry about leaving them frustrated and wanting more, because that's what xcites and turns them on.
The fact that your wife recognised this and called to apologise, maybe not what you wanted to hear, but nevertheless just proves that she is thinking more about her position of power and how to express it.
Thank you for a very nice blog. It is clear that your wife loves and appreciates you. She is trying to be a mistress, but just dosen't yet understand what it is all about.
It is also ovious that she still thinks about the 'fem/dom' relatiosnhip as play. Whatever service you render to your mistress is not about play. It is about you duty as a submissve man to serve her.
Eventually, I believe that your wife will come to understand that doing such things as cleaning shoes is part of your obligation to her. It I had put on a pair of dirty boots, I would have been tempted to give John some type of punishment so that it would not have happened again.
It also helps if a women understands that a little shoe licking every so often is really good for a man. Once you have a man lick your shoes clean, it makes it easier to give him orders. It is a shame that more women don't understand this simple concept. Kathy
I wonder if many times being a Domme is another energy performing task, especially when doing many things at a time. One that at times I am more than comfortable not representing it, as it would open up other dimensions of interactionn which I might not have the time and still...might be concerned about my sub's frutration at a task that is his.
Her understanding of her role is such that she can also do this, it doesn't give or take away.
Might be this simple.
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