Just laying it on the line
My wife's lack of sexual desire makes her feel like a terrible wife. And I feel bad for my part. The other night we had a long talk about what I need. I know, it is supposed to be about her. But she really wants to make me happy so I told her...."laid it on the line" so to speak.
Frankly, I want to orgasm once per week. Intercourse, her masturbating me, my masterbation, doesn't really matter as long as she is involved. The other thing I told her is that I'd like to get hard for her 2-3 other times per week. Orgasm optional. She can stroke me, tell me to touch myself, whatever but that is what I feel is a minimum average and again she must be involved.
I'd don't know what's "normal" in a wife led marriage but regardless, both people have to be happy. I think that she is more at ease now because prior to our conversation she sometimes felt that she couldn't get "kinky" enough to please me so why try. Now she has a better understanding that it doesn't take much. I'll let you know how it goes.
ps:
She did snap her fingers and point to the side of the bed and told me to touch myself while she read her book. I got pretty close before she enough, bed time.
posted by whatevershesays @ 2:14 PM
5 comments
5 Comments:
I know the feeling of being ignored very well. Though I must admit that our frequency is higher than once per week. I mustn't complain.
It is far more exciting if she says "You are not going to have anything tonight!" than if she just turns around and ignores you.
It is very good that your wife is willing to listen to your needs, and is apparently willing to give you some of it. You are right about this: "... I'd don't know what's "normal" in a wife led marriage but regardless, both people have to be happy...."
There is nothing wrong with voicing your needs, and, if it were your wife doing that, I am sure that you would do everything to help her. That is what a loving relationship is.
Under the circumstances it can still be a successful FLR.
So, how did it go?
Hi! What you stated about what you need is fairly normal and matches what I "need" as well.
My wife goes through stages with her libido. Right now she is on an "up" cycle, which means that she is getting an orgasm about every other day and granting me one about once a week, on average.
When she does not want to be bothered with it, she orders me to put on a condom and hump the floor while kissing her feet. It's very humiliating, but it's still a release, with no mess to clean up. :-)
Thanks for putting this so succinctly - I've been thinking about this post since I first read it last week.
For me, it's really about not being ignored, far more than all the dom-ish/sub-ish activities we might (or in our case, don't) do.
Jamie
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