Monday, September 18, 2006


24 hours in a day, 168 hours in a week of which about 64 are sleeping. That leaves just over 100 hours of awake time. I wonder how many of them, during an average week, are vanilla versus, shall we say "other." And how do we define "other." Certainly a 3 hour date night on a Saturday would count. But what if my wife adds changine the sheets on the bed to the "honey-do" list? Do I calculate the time it took her to put it on the board or do I include the time changing the sheets? And does the time calculation change if she tells me to do it nude?

Why all the math? For me and hopefully any readers, it's a reminder that our vanilla lives far out weight the other. And leads into what happened (and is happening) to me this past week.

My wife travelled last week and besides a few things to do, the week was very vanilla. And that's OK. However, it's been 8 days since my last orgasm and that's a little long for me. Usually, there is a mid-week "release" (my masturbating for her) and then a longer weekend date that frequently ends in sex.

So last night I mention the time since I was last allowed to orgasm. And then I started thinking. She's getting her ass kicked at work, our children want to see her and I'm practically humping her leg.

Here is the email I sent her this morning:

So I was thinking about my request to orgasm. I'm aware that you have been thinking about us. You mentioned it in a conversation about when returning from a trip, everyone wants a piece, numerous additions to my "to-do list" and a request for a date night this week. So let me start by saying thanks for thinking of us. With respect to an orgasm.....that's up to you. If you want to wait until this weekend then I'll wait. I would appreicate the opportunity to brush your hair, backrub, foot massage, etc.

We'll see where this leads. Patience, patience, patience.


At 11:45 AM, Blogger Jamie said...

Thanks for that. In the whirl of every-day life with family and community, sometimes it's really hard to keep as focused as I'd like to on my beloved and what I can do for her. For me, changing the sheets definately qualifies as "service", but maybe that's just because that aspect of our relationship exists more in my head than as an explicit agreement between us.

As someone who's new to having his orgasms controlled, even implicitly or gently, your phrase about "She's getting her ass kicked at work, our children want to see her and I'm practically humping her leg. " really struck a chord! It's the aspect of this that strikes me as potentially (and often) very selfish, that I'm not at all comfortable with.

I think your sentiments in your e-mail to your wife were lovely.

Sounds like with where your head is and your communication with your wife, this is working well. I'm glad to have your example out there to emulate.

Notes on an Unremarkable Life


At 7:32 PM, Blogger Sir William said...

Your attitude regarding the real priority of your orgasm is admirable and very similar to mine. The sacrifice today will be greatly rewarded in the long run.

At 9:58 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thankyou for your blog I have been reading yours and others for several days now and although nothing exists in our relationship of this kind I have adopted a stealth semi submission to my wife and tonight sent her an email explaining why I wanted to play golf (a new hobby of mine) on a certain day and asking for her permission to do so something I would never have done previously. I must confess to having a hard-on as I wrote the email, feeling the rush pour over me as I gave her the power to decide what I would do.



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