Thursday, September 07, 2006

A little nervous....

I'm a little nervous. My brother and wife are coming into town and I wondering how it will affect our lifestyle. I'm pretty sure my wife will limit the amount of expectations for fear of embarassment to all. Unless it's overtly obvious, I could care less. A large part of me wishes she was more "into it" and didn't care who knew. (see below.) This should be interesting. And do to his visit, I won't be posting for about a week.

And on a more perverted note: I masturbated for my wife over the weekend. She was on the bed clothed, I was kneeling naked. I asked where I should cum and she asked me where did I want to. I replied into her bra and then lick it out. She asked me if that is what I really wanted and I hemmed and hawwed. It's not so much that I want to taste my ejaculate but that I want her to be more active and demand that I do. We discussed this a bit without resolve. I'm wondering what will happen in the future.


At 9:52 PM, Blogger helpmate hubby said...

Let us know if anything intereesting happens!

At 10:40 PM, Blogger Mistress Laura's boy said...

Hey whatevershesays, I don't know if your hemming and hawing thing will get you anywhere with your wife. She's smart and she knows what you are saying. It might work better if you just say what you want straight out.

Something like "It really turns me on when you order me to do things, even distasteful things. Yes, I think coming in your bra would be naughty, and it would be even more so if I did it because you told me to."

I had a similar row with my wife some time back, and she told me that the passive-aggressive non-answers to her questions about what I wanted really pissed her off and I should just tell her what I need and want, and of course, whe retains the right to do them or not.

Good luck with your visitors. Keep in touch.

At 4:53 AM, Blogger whatevershesays said...

Mistress Laura's boy:

Good advice. We did discuss it then.

At 7:07 PM, Blogger Jamie said...

Communication certainly seems to be the core issue for my beloved and me. As I mentioned at one point, we had a weekly ritual in whose "space" we could talk about all this stuff safely. Alas, that whole arrangement didn't last, though honestly (it was 15 years ago) I don't remember why.

But in the moment, I think I'd agree with mlb that "hemming and hawing" is probably not the best response. What's worked for me is to present my process, just as you did in your post: "What I want most is for you to decide; what you decide is up to you." If the real response is "I want to be made to do something that I don't want to do," that's pretty complicated, and probably more of a discussion than is going to happen in a scene moment.

This isn't a magic bullet, however, and doesn't always lead to a happy ending. Honest communication led to one of the more disappointing experiences I've had, however. I've mentioned the bit about the necklace as a chastity indicator (when it's on, I don't get to cum). At one point, I was asking her if I could masturbate and she responded (ever totally honest as she is), "I don't really care." Her comment cut me to the quick, but at least I knew where I stood. Ideally that would have lead to a discussion of "what we're doing here." And perhaps it will, but only after a delay of about a year (which is how long ago that happened).

Don't know if this is clear. Net net: I really believe that honesty and not manipulating your spouse are important. I hope they'll get me to the place I want to be.



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