Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Trying A Different Tack

Including the past few weekends and the next 4, one of us will be out of town for about 7 of 8 weekends. That is alot of time apart and my wife has acknowledged a lack of intercourse. (Frankly, we need to have a weekend date night and a few glasses of wine.) However, my wife has continued to be playful and we have had some fun wife led moments.

While driving to work today, she phoned me and let me know that while she was dressing, she had thought about initiating some type of fun, sexual situation but do to a late start, she decided there wasn't enough time. Of course I wish there had been more time but just the fact that she had thought about it made me very happy. She went on to tell me that she thinks of our sex life often.

I didn't know that. I'm glad that she does.

But how to get her thought put into some type of action?

I think she feels that the sexual "action" must be a somewhat lengthy "scene." Nothing could be farther from the truth.

So tonight I 'm going to bring her into the bedroom and tell her that I really wasn't aware of how often she thinks of our sex life. (And due to her lack of initiation, I think it's fair that I didn't know.)

Then I'm going to reinact this morning. I tell her to pretend that she has thought of our sex life but realized there isn't any time to do some thing about it.

I'll then show/tell her what she could have done. None of which would take more than 30 seconds and hopefully none of which she would find distasteful, embarassing or difficult to perform.

For example,
1. "(my name), "Can you come in here for a second." (my arrival) "I was thinking of you but time got away. Be good, ache a bit, maybe tomorrow."

2."Sorry, ran out of time." "My shoes need a polish."

3. "When was the last time you orgasmed?" "Sorry, out of time. Have a nice day."

4. Any of the above on my knees and or with my pants around my ankles.

5. "Pick out your favorite panties. Sorry out of time."

6. "Show me how you think of me in the shower." Stroke, stroke, "Sorry out of time."

7. "No time right now, page me each time you get hard today. No orgasm."

8. Lift the hem of her skirt to show the lace fringe of slip, "Like that?" (rehtorical..lol) Think about it today." "Maybe tomorrow."

Normally I would think this is "topping from the bottom", a husband trying to still be in charge of a wife led marriage. But I do believe she wants ideas to make her feel like a better, sexier wife and to further our already great communication and strengthen our marriage.

I'll let you all know how it goes.


At 1:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't see anything wrong with a little help and direction once in a while, after all many wives seem to struggle with ideas and making some reasonable suggestions may help them.

At 3:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


I agree with AAT. I read these blogs primarily to try and understand what Gary might be thinking, and to see what he might need. They have been helpful.

I see nothing wrong with sharing your ideas with your wife...from time to time. Am I right in assuming she does not read blogs or similar material?


At 5:12 AM, Blogger whatevershesays said...

You are correct. She has very little time and doesn't spend it reading blogs or websites that might give her ideas.

At 11:27 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think it is a bit of topping from the bottom, however, if you only make suggestions infrequently then it isn't too bad. She probably could use some suggestions but it is a fine line between topping from the bottom and communicating......and from what I read of your blog you obsess too much!

At 4:48 AM, Blogger whatevershesays said...

Fair enough. Now, offer some suggestions. Criticism is easy.


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